Moving on

So even though this calf just has died, I still need to get myself together and get the Brownies!  As we are driving there, Katie told me that she had to get in the car and look away because she did not want Scott to see her cry. She asked me if I cried because she thought when I was walking to the tack room that I looked sad. Of course, I was. And I told her that its ok to cry and feel whatever you do feel. And that the most important thing is to not feel as though you ever have to hide your feelings because it is the most important to just be true to yourself.

I also I told her that I am sure Scott might have laughed at me but also that we just need to accept that we are not hardened yet by these experiences. And that is OK.

Brownies is good and we head to Katie's first softball game. Katie played 3rd base and did great! The final score was 12 to 12-  a tie.

I head to the gym and Scott takes the kids home for dinner and bedtime. As they are passing the shop, they can see that our favorite shop cat, Cookie, is dead on the side of the road. It is probably a good thing I was not there because I am sure I would have gasped and got all emotional and Scott is much better about just moving forward. So, surprisingly enough, the kids did not really have much of a problem about it or any real emotional response.

But the next day, we decide to bury him. Which I am glad about because I was not too excited about watching the turkey vultures peck his eyes out. The boys and I take a shovel and scoop him up off the road. Once again this week, Hunter and Ben dig the hole and we bury him. We all say a little something about how he was the best shop cat in the whole wide world and we love how his tail was always in the shape of a question mark, and how he was just a sweet cat and that he will be missed.

Katie is really nowhere to be seen and when I do see her, she is sitting over by herself with her head in her lap and is crying. Of course, at that moment, I think to myself how I should have just left it alone, but that is not really me.

I walk over to her and just have to put my feelings aside and be strong so she can see me be strong. I tell her Cookie is in a good place and he will always be a part of us. And just like anyone that we have loved and lost, we can always find them in our hearts and that is where we will have to look for him now.

I find that when my emotions get the best of me it is best to just get to work and get dirty. So, we spent the rest of the day creating the garden. There was lots of dirt moving, shoveling, raking and just getting our hands dirty. And by the end of the day we were all feeling really good.

Although there had been sadness in the past few days, it certainly also made us realize all the happiness that is around us and all that we do have and how grateful we are to love and to be loved.

The next morning, we awake to a loud cat cry which was Cream as her water broke outside the back door!  So, we rush to get her a comfortable place to have her kittens. At this point, we are not sure if she has already had the kittens and they are up in the forest or if that really was her water that just broke. So, we leave her alone. When we check her later, we can see she has a bunch of gunk coming out and she is definitely in labor. She does not want to seem to be alone so we bring her onto the deck and Katie sits with her.

Apparently it was taking so long that Katie got bored and went down to check on Squeak and her kittens.  At this point, cream had crawled under the blanket and was hiding and every once in awhile you would see the blanket move, but we did not know what was going on. When I peeked under, I could see that she had delivered one kitten! And I called to Katie and she came running up. 

Katie and I watched her deliver one more kitten. We were sure she was done because then she delivered the placenta and actually ate it! It was pretty gross and we had to look away.

We moved the box down to the shed so they could be with the other cats and kittens. When we went down a few hours later, Cream had delivered two more kittens! 

The next morning we went down to check on them and thought Cream had moved all the kittens to an unknown location only to discover she had moved them in to her sisters basket with her kittens!  They seem to take turns nursing each other's kittens if you can believe that! Sisterhood. It is a beautiful thing.

What a week!