Fairies

How do you teach your children to love the Earth? How do you teach them that there is a peacefulness that rests there within it that is so wonderful to know? How do you begin to teach your children about goodness, both in people and in the world itself? How can you convince them to believe in something they cannot see? I have often wondered how to tell them. What words do we use for them to know the joys found in Nature and the goodness in the World?

We certainly do not have the answers, but I saw this in our children the other day ~ an understanding, an appreciation, a true love of Mother Earth and happiness brought by it. Summer Solstice is a time for celebration. In many countries, there really is a great celebration, even a maypole dance, bonfires late into the night & a great party. Even the fairies and gnomes and all the rest of their friends come out to play. We know about this well kept secret and spent a lot of time creating the best fairy houses and playgrounds we could think of in hopes they would come bearing special gifts and trinkets for us.

Katie created such a lovely place right there in the crook of the birch trees. Below she lined up sticks, leaning them against the truck and covering them with fresh leaves. She pulled grass to create a soft little place inside. Then she sanded a piece of wood, making the best fairy slide she could. She plucked flower petals and gently laid them along a flattened branch. Then she filled each flower petal with some sort of treat for the fairies, such as minced up dandelions or something of that nature. She created a place for them to sit and eat, even including a baby seat. She positioned a branch shaped like an “L” upside down and hung a smaller branch from it with string creating a little swing. She worked on it for a long time and I could see the anticipation of what was to come, the hope of the fairies, the belief in something greater than herself, something full of goodness and purity that just might reward her for her efforts.

Hunter pulled lots of grass and created a soft bed for the fairies. He used an old railroad tie that had up heaved itself from the ground creating a small tilted opening just big enough for him to get his little hands in there to lay out the grass. He gathered sticks and set them up, leaning them along the timber to create a climbing space for the fairies. He used an old stump for a seat and picked several flowers that he used to create boucey houses for the fairies! He worked hard and I was impressed with the stick-to-it-ness he showed.

Ben and I gathered rocks. We laid them into a circle leaving an opening for the fairies to come and go. We picked numerous little daisies and displayed them on a unique branch missing its bark. The flowers lined the branch creating a lovely walkway. And that was all Ben was interested in. On to the next thing.

We talked all about how hopeful we were, we guessed at what sorts of things the fairies might leave and crossed our fingers.

Later that day, Katie and Hunter began doing something they had never done before: taking care of the trees. They decided they needed to clean up the areas around the fairy houses so their little feet would not get snagged on any of fallen branches. They found a box and began to pick them all up. I noticed and quietly began to participate. They were excited with telling me how and why they were doing this. They were caring for the fairies by caring for the trees. There are several viney type things that wrap themselves around the trees. This obviously makes it hard for the little trees to grow. So, after they were done picking sticks, they ran from tree to tree pulling down the vines yelling to one another, “Over here! Let's rescue this one. Let's save this tree.” They even talked about which trees they could save at home and what gifts they could make for them.

The next morning we awoke to excited voices, jumping on the bed and giant smiles. The fairies had come.! We threw back the covers and all raced outside to see. I loved that they had already snuck outside to check without us first. They were all very patient saying Hunter could show his first, then Ben, and finally Katie. The fairies had sprinkled clear gems with fairy dust embedded inside. There were also numerous little gem type leaves from the Oak and Maple trees. Of course, this was acknowledgment for helping the trees the day before. And gold!! Yes, sprinkled in and around each one of the houses was a trail of gold as though the fairies danced and played the night away leaving golden little footprints behind. We heard, “LOOK! They used the boucey house!” from Hunter. “They ate all the food I left them!” from Katie. And “Isn't this buw-te-ful!” from Ben. Hunter looked up into my eyes with this look of astonishment and said, “Mom, I did not think I believed in fairies yesterday, but today I do. I really really do.”

In the early evening when the excitement had passed and everyone had either chosen to collect their treasures or leave them where they were, I looked out to see Katie sitting next to her fairy house. She sat with such reverence. I could see she was using her oil pastels & sketch book (something she picked out at the art store after she had 2 not so loose teeth pulled before we left). There she sat wanting to capture this creation in her book forever, this memory of joy, this visit from the fairies.

How many more years will we be blessed with this magic? Who knows, so we drink it in as much as we can until we too are full of wonder and imagination. It really was like magic to watch their imaginations at work. But more than that, to me, it was about believing in the goodness in the world~that although you may not always actually see it, that hardly means that it does not exist-just like the fairies. They allowed their imaginations to transport a plain old back yard full of tall grass, dirt and weeds into a magical land where the fairies wanted to come and play. Maybe the way in which we believe in those fairies changes as we grow. Right now, the magic of the universe takes the shape of a fairy. What remains as we grow and change over time and the vast distance our imaginations once covered does not seem to be able to stretch so far anymore?

I have to believe that what remains is an appreciation of nature and the miracles presents within it. The very simple notion that a seed just knows what to do, is that a miracle? Or that each snowflake is different, each tree and flower carrying its own unique qualities. That snow remains on Mount Nebo despite that we stand and sweat looking at it. Or as we picnicked at Bear Canyon, gazing at the rapids, that the water is ever changing, but still looking the same somehow and its movement has this capability to just carry our troubles away and we walk away feeling refreshed and revived. So many everyday, ordinary things...

I have to believe that what remains is a truth-that overall, the world is good and it is our duty while we visit to continue to create goodness in all that we do and rewards follow our goodness. So, I think Scott and I have decided that there really are no words to use to be able to tell our children these truths, but rather just let them play and realize it for themselves. And hopefully the “fairies” will always reward the goodness we aim to send forth.

Hunter turns 5!!!

What a wonderful week we have all had.

I have not seen Scott this dirty in a very long time. Last night, he was not home until after 9pm. He rushed off before dinner to help Farmer Scott with the baler that broke down. He was FULL of dirt, dust and hay when he returned. But they did manage to finish the field and start on another this morning. Scott's excited to be learning the in's and out's of the farm, be working side by side with Farmer Scott and just becoming more a part of what goes on here. There have been some great changes for the farm.

The kids and I drove up log canyon road again, this time thinking for sure we would make it to the top. Again, we ran into too much snow and had to turn back. Of course where there is snow, there is water, where there is water, there is mud. So the three kids spent the better part of the afternoon playing in the mud. And, low and behold, even Benny got himself muddy!

The water had almost seemed as though it were going to stop running, something rather sad to think about because we have gotten into the habit of checking to see how much is flowing just about every time we pass it. One day this past week, it had just about stopped running under the culvert, just a little trickle. The week before it had been gushing. But as the days heat up, the snow continues to melt and the water keeps running. So, lucky for us, that there is still mud to play in...at least for the time being.

We went into town on Wednesday to swim. As I said, the temperature is heating up and it has been into the 90's this week. It is rather tolerable though because there is not a bit of humidity and THAT makes all the difference. It is just dry and I can see it in the kids' lips as they become cracked and I spend my time reminding and reminding them to get something on their lips. I looked down at my hands the other day and they were just so dry they looked like I had aged about 30 years. My mother's hands, I thought, and it made me miss "home". Funny, how "home" really is where the heart is...what you carry within your heart.

Laundry....I must say that if we just do not wash it by hand, the whole process takes about a half a day. Ugh! And we always arrive back home, crabby and just needing to expand our bodies and spirits into the wide space around us at the cabin. It will somehow become 2-3 in the afternoon and all we have accomplished is laundry at the laundry mat.

That was yesterday. Luckily, Scott took Hunter with him to work and they got to work on setting posts for the new hay shed going up; not an easy task at all for one man, a machine and a small little helper. So, Ben and Katie headed out with me to find a new laundry mat. The one in the nearest town, Nephi, has about 4 machines working and they tear up our clothes, never dry them completely (unless I just keep dropping in the quarters) and I just can't support a place that has all the same broken machines as they had last year. Thought we could combine our trip with a stop at the nearest Walmart, about 30 minutes from here.

Well, that town, although a college town, apparently has no laundry mat, so we kept going to the next town, found one, great machines, all open, hooray, the coin machine only take $1 bills, back into the truck, to the gas station, "we're thirsty", buy waters, ask for change in singles, not sure if they have enough....what?, beg and plead, get the singles, back into the truck, get the quarters, Ben drops the quarters, fill machine, fill another, and another, and another and another and another, sit outside and wait, Walmart too far to back track, get wash into dryer, drop in more quarters, "we're hungry", get all clothes in the dryer, back into truck, find place to eat, eat, leave, fold laundry, leave, head to Walmart, spent 1.5 hours gathering what we need, back into truck, head home, call Scott, no answer, worry Scott is under a post with a broken leg, call again, no answer, head to ranch house, no one there, stop at shop, find Scott and a very dirty Hunter, drop off Katie, take Ben back to cabin and unpack groceries.....by this time, it is time to start dinner!!! I really did have to remind myself SEVERAL TIMES to just slow it down, who cares, no rush, so what if the lady slicing the sandwich meat is soooo slooooow I am about ready to rip my hair out, relax, let it go, breath.

But TODAY ~ a very special day indeed. Hunter was up at the crack of dawn, his day, his birthday. We let him open one present right away in the morning. He picked the biggest one. It was a rifle, a handgun in a holster and a red cowboy bandanna. He was in cowboy heaven. All morning we had to call him "sheriff". Ben was his deputy and Hunter actually did a really great job sharing his new toys with Ben even though it was hard to do. The kids and I spent the morning cleaning out the bottom of the fort we built last year. Katie and I pulled all the weeds, then the boys and I collected two sleds full of rocks to create the walkway. Hunter always gets a treasure map for his birthday and Katie and I had already decided that the "treasure" would be inside the fort. We ate Hunter's favorite lunch, Miss Link's quesadilla's.
Then the kids filled up the small plastic pool we tried to use for sledding last year. It works much better for water than for sledding and they all got naked, danced around the hot driveway, jumping from foot to foot doing their best to not get their feet too hot, and then getting back into the pool. This was my chance to complete the treasure map.

Ben never got dressed after that, so as the kids discovered the map and set out in search of clues, Benny followed along wearing only his flip flops...he even crawled right into the fort, sat down, and got his butt full of sap, but he was just so happy to be part of this great day. We had a wonderful dinner together, Hunter's request: "pig meat", watermelon, and red jello. After we sang and ate cake, we set out for some Rhino driving around the field. Of course, Hunter got to steer. I have this imagine still in my mind of his shaggy blond hair blowing in the wind, wearing his new red bandanna, sitting there on Scott's lap, smiling and steering, laughing as he takes a hard right and heads right out into the field~ no boundaries, nothing in the way for him, just a sense of freedom that he seeks out everyday and there it was for the taking, so right there in front of all of us.

It is hard to believe that Hunter is already 5. I cannot honestly say that I think the time has gone too fast, there were certainly nights in the very beginning that could not have gone fast enough. Even Scott said tonight that it is hard to believe the little boy he is becoming and we both wondered what he will remember about his youth.

Hunter has always challenged me, even from the very beginning he had his own ideas about even how he was going to enter this world!! But regardless of all that, the challenges I face with him, the patience I so desperately seek sometimes, all really just fade away and at the end of the day, he does truly push me to be a better parent, a better person. There is just something so special about him. His eyes light up and joy fills his face when he knows he gets to spend the day with Scott, he gallops down the dirt road pretending to be riding his wild mustang through the dessert, he marches up the hill, alone, singing "I'm a tall, tall tree" to keep the mountain lions away, he kisses me so long at bedtime that we end up giggling and then have to start again.

As his mother, I do face challenges in how to help him grow and change and become the best man he can be, one filled with passion for the things he loves, a genuine and honest kind of man with a big heart, someone who offers kindness and understanding during the times when they are most needed ~ someone like Scott. I have so many wishes for him, but more than anything, I want him to know LOVE, feel it, experience it, truly know it and be able to openly give and receive it to not only people, but to all things. Scott and I sat out on the deck after all the kids had fallen fast asleep after a wonderful day for a birthday and we just held Hunter close in our hearts. He is "home" with us, in us.

Father's Day

It has rained all day today and it has finally stopped. The misty clouds that remain slowly roll over the hills and engulf the canyon. The sun peeks through and sprinkles light over the mountains and hills. I marvel at nature's beauty and just take the time to watch beauty happen before my eyes. It's quiet, only the sounds of birds, the water rushing down from the mountains and the stillness that surrounds us.

We spent Saturday doing many cabin chores. Ben and I moved a log pile closer to the cabin in hopes for another winter visit. We enjoyed thinking about how ready we would be for those cold, snowy nights. Katie could hardly wait to wash the laundry. And she completed quite a bit, dipping and scrubbing by hand. After she was through, she looked to me, let out a big sigh of satisfaction and asked me if I knew what her favorite place in the whole world was. I guessed several guesses for fun, but then, her face filled with joy and she responded that is was here, right here. Later that afternoon, Hunter said he wanted to stay here forever. He never wants to go home, just wants to live here forever.

I do not know exactly what happens to us while we are here. Maybe it is the peacefulness, the quiet, the beauty, I do not know, but to hear our kids express how they love it here, we must do something right while we visit. Time is just irrelevant. Everyday tasks become group efforts and there is a shared feeling of success and accomplishment when through. All our little “jobs”, silly as they may seem on a larger scale, become opportunities for our children to feel what it feels like to complete something, to know and understand accomplishment, be able to define it in each of their own ways, then bring it into their sense of knowing and help them to define who they become. Watching this happen, seeing and knowing this truth is like magic. I hear pride in their voices when Scott gets back and they all go running up to him and tell him what they did. I see a look of satisfaction on their faces that speaks volumes as they look over a job well done. And I feel their sense of ownership as I quietly watch from afar.

Saturday afternoon we 4 wheeled up Water Hollow Road and checked the ponds. Lots of water!! We traveled farther up to The Cotton Woods, an area where water creates a small pond and Katie and Hunter spent a good part of their time playing in the mud. Katie discovered she loves mud and playing in it is her new favorite thing. She made mud socks~up to her knees. She made mud gloves~up to her elbows and sang all about how she loves mud. Hunter just took his pants right off and stepped in and all we could hear was “squelsh, squersh” and on it went. Benny was not too sure of the mud. We watched and laughed as he tried to go in over and over, but would get one foot in and you could just see it on his face like, “uh....no, I don't think so” and he would step back out.

As we rode up to the top pond, we saw a buck, several deer and two female elks. We also saw a Great Horned Owl earlier in the day just down from the cabin. It just sat in the tree watching us watching it and finally took flight and it was quite a sight. We got caught in the rain, but none of us cared. It just made for more fun!

The rain came in the night and it rained for the better part of the day. We went to town to pick up more supplies, some needed (like water) and some just for fun (like ice cream and coffee). On our way up the driveway, we stopped at the wash to stand in the drizzle and gaze in astonishment at all the water flowing. We could actually hear the rocks being pushed by the water it was flowing so rapidly. Katie and I ran up the rapids to check on a large pool of water. We had played there the day of the rattlesnake encounter. We noticed that the water had once flowed down in two areas, but one of them had gotten all damned up so we spent the afternoon digging a deeper channel for it to go. She and I held hands and hopped over and through the rushing water. Suddenly she looked to me and said, “I am so glad I have a mom like you.” Truly ~ my heart filled with such joy and love, it was a wave that washed over me and I felt myself falling into that moment as it engrained itself into my memory forever – she and I together in the rain. To have her not only feel that way but to be able to articulate that to me was really a special moment for me that I will cherish always.

After we get the kids to bed, there is about 2 hours of light left. Scott and I grab the camera and sit on the deck and wait for the hummingbirds to come to the feeder. Really...when is there another time to just sit and watch and wait. Scott really gets on a mission to get the best photo-op he can. I wish I had a picture of him taking the picture. They come zooming right past us as though they are just as curious about us as we are of them.

Father's Day was a wonderful day. Benny looked at Scott with a giant smile and said, “You are not my fada”. Then we had to explain that “fada” and dad are the same. “Oooooh, I know,” he says. To tuck the kids in and listen to how they wrap up the day, to see a smile take over their face in excitement for tomorrow gives us both hope for the new day and all of its possibilities.

Playing All Day

To listen to them create their own games. To watch their kindness towards one another if one has fallen down into the dirt and rocks & to offer a helping hand. To witness them helping one another work towards a common goal, something that really has no importance to me, but to them, is the whole purpose of that moment. To know that we have no where else to be. Nothing else to “get done” other than what lies before us, the now, this moment. To be a part of the richness present within their childhood~ those are the gifts of today.

I heard Hunter say to Ben “Oh, you sit right here little guy” and outstretch a hand to him to help him climb up the 4 wheeler as they pretended to drive. I heard Hunter ask politely what he could do to help while Katie was digging out a deeper canal for the mountain water to run. I watched Katie rescue Ben after he slipped in the snow, holding him safely, comforting him and helping get the snow out of his boot (yes, there still is a ton of it about 200 feet higher than where we are).

Everyone has adjusted already despite the short amount of time we have been here. The cats are hunting lizards. The kids are enjoying getting back into Nature and finding things to do in it. Katie is running through the tall grass chasing the dog. The dog is running too but I think she is more likely feeling like she is herding Katie than being chased. Ben has spent the better part of the afternoon playing outside in just his underwear. That is a good look for him....mud boots and a t-shirt hanging down over most of his underwear but not quite. Today, we were miles from home in the middle of nowhere and, of course, Hunter has to go to the bathroom ~ #2. So he adjusted just fine to that sort of business. Actually, he had been asking the entire day before if he could go out in nature. I have to draw the line somewhere, ya know? But, there we were, and that was going to be the only solution. Funny how some kids are just born into being a part of nature and adjusting well to that. I tell ya what, Hunter would rather go in the forest than at Target!!

We 4 wheeled up Log Canyon road this afternoon, just me and three kids on the 4 wheeler. We just had to stop as soon as we saw snow we could play in. We must have been there for over an hour; Just stopped in the middle of the trail, skiing down the snow, throwing snowballs, and then stepping one foot over, kicking off our boots and splashing in the tiny little stream created from that snow melting. I just faded away and the three of them all just played. It occurred to me what a gift it is to create NOTHING to do, to have no where to go, to just be able to remain silent and never have to let their play end. I just stood by, thinking, appreciating all the beauty around me and just stayed quiet. They just played and played and it was as though that was all there was, nothing else, except that moment and the “work” they had created for themselves. I felt so blessed to have this day ~ to just be in my own thoughts while they were all so content just to play in the mountain waters and dirt.

When we were here in February, I remember hearing that we were in an avalanche warning. We did not really know what exactly that meant or what we should do about that. So, whatever, just filed that away. But today as we were heading up the dirt road behind that cabin, it was clear the destruction an avalanche can have. Trees were snapped in half like they were toothpicks. Then in other places it was merely just the tip of an evergreen or birch tree that lay across the road. We were in awe with the power, obviously no longer present, but was once there. Eventually, we had to turn back around because there was too much snow and not enough road; just a size of about the width of the 4 wheeler and maybe 12 inches and then the cliff. We were smart. We turned around. As soon as I got the 4 wheeler turned around, Ben shouted, “Mama! You saved the day!” It's certainly nice to be someone's hero!

Katie brought with her a very special “little one”, Sparkle. We stopped to pick up a branch Katie insisted was so beautiful we had to take it back to the cabin and show dad. Suddenly, she screams out, “MOM! Sparkle is missing. I dropped Sparkle.” And then hysterical crying.

Oh boy! Please, please, please let us not have lost her, such a special gift from Granny Evergreen, who brought Sparkle to Katie last year in Kindergarten with Mrs. Cassidy. Oh, not Sparkle, the only special little doll she will most likely cherish and save forever. Not this one. Not today.

So, back up the snowy mountain track we went. Katie crying hysterically, Hunter, Ben & I scanning the dirt road. I just looked up into the canyon, out into the beautiful blue sky and just said a little prayer, just tossed out that energy into the universe, “please”. And before we knew it Katie is yelling out that she sees her, face down in the dirt. Sparkle....no more adventures for you. But, really it has been a good thing. Nothing like the fear of something being lost and gone forever to reignite love and affection towards it~ I think that must apply to just about everything from a little doll to a person. As soon as we got home, she started making a little clay soup bowl, plate, cup and saucer & a spoon and fork. After all, she was hungry after that near escape. I could practically hear Katie sighing in relief the better part of the afternoon.

Scott has been gone most of the day tending to things at the farm. It seems that as soon as we arrive, there is much to take care of, wrap up or initiate. So, although it is bedtime for the kid's, he is still out and about. The machine that cuts the hay is being delivered tonight, the pump is not working, all kinds of good stuff. So, I am just sitting here watching the shadows slowly move across the hills and mountains, listening to the boys playing with their bow & arrow while Katie is still feeding Sparkle.

The Making of Rattlesnake Road

Warning....if you are planning to visit this summer~ you might want to skip this blog.

It rained tonight. The clouds rolled over the canyon behind us bringing a wonderful heavy but short rain. When I tucked Katie in for bed she looked at me and said, "Mom, I am so glad it rained tonight ~ good for the crops." That a girl, Katie!

We all woke up bright and early and set out to walk up the wash, usually a trail of rocks cut out from water that flows down from the mountain. NEVER in all the years we have been here have we ever seen it running, but this year, the water is running like crazy! The dog, of course followed as she usually does, and the two cats actually came too. It looked like a scene from The Incredible Journey, all of those animals sticking together walking down the gravel road setting out for adventure.

As we set out, Katie actually found another shed antler. Unbelievable! That girl has got an eye for nature and she is just so in tune with things. Read on and you will get the full meaning of what I am saying.

Anyway, the kids and I had a great time splashing and throwing rocks. We sang as we hiked, Hunter mostly, singing a song about rocks, Katie making ones up as we went along and Ben just joining in at the last moment. Although it sounds very sweet, it actually most likely stems from "Safety School" - what I have termed our little morning lessons about being smart in Nature. Today's little golden rules were 1) Always stick with a buddy 2) Hike loud. This way you will scare off anything lurking around, like a mountain lion or rattlesnake and 3) Call "HELP" when you need it but at no other times.

The sun was high in the sky and although we had started out with it being rather cloudy, the sun was shining on us now so we headed back to the cabin for lunch. We had lunch at Jesse's Restaurant, the name which Katie created long ago at our little play kitchen at home. I was the cook, Katie was my daughter, Hunter was a cowboy who lived in the mountains hunting all day, and Ben was his horse. Katie and I put on our aprons and served them lunch and Hunter was so into playing, telling us stories of his adventures, his time spent traveling through the mountains and of all the animals he shot, he even offered to shoot a buck for us and let us just have the meat for our restaurant. Of course, Jesse and I were pleased to hear this! :)

Scott and Katie went up to check on generator at the pump house on the 4 wheeler before dinner. There is a little road up to the pump house. We all had been on it earlier today, playing tag, collecting rocks, just running around.

The story I heard about the trip up to the pump house goes something like this...

Katie leans into Scott telling him she sees a snake.

Scott is trying to see it, looking all around and still cannot see what Katie is talking about. In his head, he is thinking it is going to be a blow snake, whatever THAT is, but has seen those up there before. (thanks for letting the rest of us know that!) So, he puts the 4 wheeler in reverse and can see this snake slithering away. Really the only thing he can see of it IS THE RATTLE!!!!

SO when he saw it was a rattlesnake, they stopped and watching it for a second. In Scott's brain, he is thinking to himself that he has a rather short window here and needs to decide what he is going to do about this. So he decides it is better if he tries to kill it than let it slither off into the woods. He tells Katie to stay on the 4 wheeler and picks up two big rocks. He whips it at the snake and it lands hard onto its back and he must have sort of stunned it. Then he threw the second rock and he thinks he actually hit it on the head. After that, he just keeps whipping rocks at it. He said that he could see its fangs and it was just sitting there with its mouth wide open striking at a rock in front of it!!!! Yikes!

Katie is about 20 yards back calling out if she can come and see what is going on. Scott is telling her to stay back. He's just nailing the snake with rocks and can see it is still moving but not really in any direction. So he tells Katie to find a stick and bring it to him. She does. He jabbed it with the stick several times. Then lifts it out onto the road and pins its head down using the stick and gets out his knife and cuts its head off!!!!

I am at home with the boys making dinner. I hear the 4 wheeler come pulling up and Hunter comes tearing into the house yelling how dad needs me for something. I tell him I am making dinner. It's important he says. I step out onto the deck and see them all standing there, Scott saying that he has good news and bad news. I am thinking there was an accident, Katie fell off the back of the 4 wheeler. Then he says, "Well, we had our first encounter with a rattlesnake but we killed it." Then he steps aside and I can see the snake laying all the front of the 4 wheeler STILL MOVING!!! Scott still smiles and laughs when he thinks about what my face looked like. Can I just say I did not know he already cut its head off!? All I hear is rattlesnake and all I see it a snake still moving!!

So, of course, there was the story of this which includes a lot of hovering around the snake, some freaking out on my part as the thing is still moving and then the next step. How to skin the snake, keeping the rattle attached. It was one of the creepiest things I have seen in a long time....Scott is pulling the skin back off from where its head once was and the other end half is still moving. I just had to walk away.

So now that road up to the pump house is called Rattlesnake Road. Ya all can come by and see the snake head on a stick in the tree.

We researched how to preserve it and right now it's soaking in a special little anti-freeze cocktail.

Someone up there is looking out for us. That was EXACTLY the same place Katie and I had veered off for a little hike, where the kids and I were this afternoon, a road we are on all the time! Certainly makes us think about all the adventures we DO NOT want to have. It amazes me that all this time we have been talking about snakes, Katie did not even know it was poisonous until they were leaving. I guess that just goes to show how, as adults, you just think your kids are "getting it" and then maybe they are really not.

I told Scott tonight I was nervous about running in the early morning because that is when I think the mountain lions are out. Ya know, been out scavenging all night and now are headed back to their den. He laughed and told me that the chances of that were "so slim". My comment was, "Ya right, just like the chances of seeing a rattlesnake."

He really did not have much to say about that.

I think it might be time for a little scotch.

PS>Scott has a great video of some of this we will have to see if we can upload. Stay tuned...

Packing Up & Heading West

It seemed as though we had been getting ready to go to Utah for so long. I think we must have started our own little family count down about 25 days ago or so. Each morning the kids would run over to the numbers eager to take another one down. And then, finally, the day was here!

Each time we go, it seems we pack less and less. I find myself asking, " What do we really need?" Our time here is always about each other, nature, peace & quiet and just really slowing things down. So, really, what do we need~not what are all the extra things we think we should bring, but what do we really need? With that being said, packing up still seemed to take longer than I wanted. But off we went, the two of us, three kids, 2 cats and a dog full of anticipation.

We pulled out of the drive-way and we were all giddy with excitement. Hunter announced that this year he was not going to ask when we would be to Utah as much as last year. He actually did a pretty good job. And when he did ask, our answer was "in two days".

We got to the middle of Iowa the first night and just needed to be done. For the most part, Friday was an ordinary day; up early, Scott worked most of it, some other craziness thrown in there, so we were tired and decided not to push it.

We woke up the next morning, had breakfast but before we got to driving the cat started puking. Nothing like holding the cat's head over the litter box to start off your morning with an entire day of driving. I guess she was fine after that but we were certainly tempted to leave her in the Walmart parking lot for someone who had a much shorter drive than us!

The kids and I gathered around the table to start on a few projects while Scott drove. I noticed Hunter not quite acting himself, starting to lay his head down on the table, looked rather flushed....yes, you know where I am going with this. And then, all the color in his face was gone and I asked him if he felt like he was going to be sick and you know Hunter, he said nothing, but then just started puking all over himself. I did not even know what to do, try and catch it all in his shirt, have him do it on the wood floor, see if we could make it the toilet without leaving a fruit snack trail behind, hold HIS head over the litter box. Well, needless to say, we DID need to pull over. We gave him some motion sickness stuff and in no time, he was back to himself.

The cat not so much. She puked AGAIN the next morning. Luckily, it was on the floor mat but cannot say that Scott's pair of flip flops left on the mat were very lucky. They were deserted somewhere around Rawlings, Wyoming.

We stopped at a Pioneer Museum as we were traveling through Wyoming. It's called the Archway. It is approximately where the Mormon, California & Oregon trails all met. It is also 1,733 from Boston as well as from San Fransisco. Interesting. We seemed so far from Boston.

We went on a tour and learned all about what life was like if you dared to travel west in those days. Before the railroad was connected (which, by the way, took 6 years to do) the only way people could get out west was to simply walk. Many were not wealthy enough to afford a wagon and numerous families just took a hand cart. A hand cart was like a mini-wagon with two wheels that you just pulled. Imagine pulling your meager belongings into the unknown in search of a better life! Each person was allowed to take about 17 pounds. Everyone had to walk. If you had young ones, that you would have to carry, you simply could not go. One account was that while traveling, a herd of buffalo came, crossing their path, they waited 2 hours for it to pass. He estimated that there were 2 million of them! At one point, the Pony Express could travel 2000 miles in 10 days!

People who could afford wagons initially packed up all kinds of things~organs, fancy furniture, books~only to later leave them along the trail. It became known as the "Prairie library" because so many had left their books, which, at one point, were too important to leave behind, but later to realize they were worthless out on the trail. What good would they do to help save your life? So, in so many cases, by the time you did actually get to where you were going, if you were so lucky, you essential had nothing. You just started living that dream with nothing but the dream itself and the hope that the life you will now make would be better than the one you left.

Later as we continued to drive through Wyoming, I just could not help myself looking at the landscape and thinking about all those people. How spoiled we are to have had someone carve out a highway for us, how easy & worry free. Here, in a place where you do not see a tree for miles and miles, all these people just set out to cross this land vulnerable to the elements. It is just so vast! And there in the distance lurk these snow capped mountains which you will need to somehow get around. Or over. In one case, the men on a wagon train actually dug through instead of going around and that was actually faster!!

To never lose hope and be so determined to keep keepin' on, to hold onto whatever dreams you believed would come true "out west" and just continue on despite death, disease and extreme hardship truly amazes me. I just cannot think of anything comparable today to what that must have been like. Such a driving force.

As we drove out, I think Scott and I both pondered why we love it here so much. How can it feel so different than life at home. I am not sure if either of us came to any real conclusion about that, but do know that there is something about being here- together, some days only seeing and hearing one another- that fills us with a joy we have not experienced elsewhere. This, to us, is a place to become truly grounded in what we value most, to just slow down, to make the time to really look & see each other and what's around. Katie , Hunter & Ben wake up each day believing the world is at their feet, that anything is possible. And as the older, sometimes jaded adults, we cannot help but get on board with that. And so we all wake up feeling that way. It must just be something about the west~ that anything is possible.

We pulled in this afternoon and are unpacked and settled in. Katie already found a shed antler ~ something I have been looking for for years and she just came upon it, right in front of her, of course, not looking for it at all. But isn't that the way it goes? When you look too hard for something, it just may never come to you. And think of what you miss looking at in the meantime.