"Intuitive sources say that Larimar strengthens feminine energies, facilitating control of emotions without repression. It is beneficial for those under stress who are trying to balance many elements at once; cooling fiery energy, soothing anger and bringing gentle joy. It is also said to activate the throat chakra, allowing for expression of one's inner wisdom."
Over Christmas, Vanessa and I did a little shopping in Madison and had to stop at the "Rock Shop". I am actually not sure of its actual name, but that is what I have been calling it ever since. This shop is full of all different healing stones made into bracelets, necklaces, pendulums, rings, etc. Or you can just buy chunks of huge rocks as decoration. The shop just has this healing energy within it and once you go in - you want to stay...and certainly buy as many healing stones as you can!
Anyway, when we were there, I found this necklace that just sort of "spoke to me"....NO! it did not actually call out to me and say, "Sam - over here! Buy me!" But there was something about it that said to me that THIS was the ONE. It was a Larimar necklace.
When I read the little card that went with it, it WAS the one for me! And those elements of its rock strength were just what I was needing at the time.
I love that song by Katie Perry "Roar". It reminds me to find and hold onto my voice. It takes me back to sitting in the gazebo out east with my sister, JJ soon after Hunter was born. She was listening to me cry and talk about where I was in my life (which was a rather mousey and unhappy place - hello, postpartum blues??) and what I was struggling with and she just looked at me and said, "SAM! You have to find that tiger in you!" Thus, the tiger tail tattooed on my arm within the flowers (my tattoo tribute to my family). It's this reminder to me that in all I do for them and the love I give selflessly and unconditionally to them, to always know myself and have a voice and within all that giving, to be true to me and recognize the tiger in me- to always know the tiger strength in me.
So, this stone was certainly for me! And I have been wearing it since Christmas, meditating on its meaning and how that has been opening into my life. I loved that it was about bringing gentle joy into my life, something that I have kind of been waiting for since we moved. I love that it encouraged balance while in a time of stress - something I have been feeling and opened my throat chakra to speak my truth in a way that had conviction and strength - not a wimpy, complaining way, but rather, this is ME - hear ME- honor that part in ME.
And I have to say, that this stone felt really, really good to me and I wore it all the time.
And then.....
There I was in the shower (with Katie and Ben...Really? what are those showers like to only wash your own hair!?) and I heard a "CHINK" and watched my beautiful power stone bounce once on the shower floor and to then disappear down the drain. I did my best to grab it, because I knew what that chink sound was when I heard it! It was like it paused at the drain to say this one last farewell before it disappeared forever.
So there I was left with this empty necklace. Katie looked deeply into my eyes and said she was sorry this had to happen. And it was within her words that replayed in my mind - sorry, this HAD TO HAPPEN- that I started to reflected that perhaps this was the life force around me telling me that I no longer NEED this stone.
That stone could have fallen out anywhere! It could have fallen into my shirt and I would have done what anyone else would have done....glued it back in! But it literally was washed away!
I have to admit, I definitely feel naked without it and find myself over and over again reaching up to my neck with my hand to touch it or rub its smooth surface to find nothing there. But I also have to admit, that I also believe something from that stone was planted in me and its meaning now lives within me.
I do feel like I have greatly grown since Christmas - I believe that we truly are what we think about and I have to remind myself of that A LOT, certainly when I am thinking negatively and allowing these dark clouds to hover over me instead of concentrating on being a bright shining white light. To concentrate on what the meaning of what Larimar means for all that time has gifted me with the power of that stone.
I would have never taken that necklace off on my own - I don't think I would have ever felt "ready". And having it wash down the drain was like this message...you ARE ready. THIS is part of you now. Step forth into your life knowing what you have asked for is truly now part of you. You no longer need this stone for its gentle power now resides in you. So, I'll just take this stone back. And literally, back to the Earth it went.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Getting fixed
This is Marley, one of our favorites! He is on his way to get fixed for $10! He is our only male and there are a lot of females around, including his sisters! And we do not need any more cats and kittens around the house. We actually had attempted to take him over to the ranch. And he stayed there for about 1 week until he showed up back at the house! He's so sweet, like this is his home and no matter where we take him, he will just return.
The biggest stink
The kids had voice and music lessons on Friday. We found out that one of the boys that lives at the house we have lessons at was taking care of these pigs at a pig farm. One of the female pigs had just had piglets and he asked if we wanted to go and see them. Of course, we said yes, not really knowing what we were getting into!
Before we went in, the boy was telling us how much it stinks. Now I think I can say I pretty much know about stink! Between all the poop I stand in, the smell of the ranch in general, and the stink of the dogs rolling in dead cows and other disgusting things, I think I know a good stink when I smell it.
But nothing compares to the stink of a pig farm!
It was pretty cool to see the male pigs. They are enormous! And then there were the moms who were still nursing and all of their little piglets. Then there were the brand newborn piglets and they were so tiny and sweet!
The whole operation sort of seemed inhumane to me. Not that I know anything about raising pigs, but the mother pigs who are still nursing are kept in this small area that is maybe 5 by 5 feet. They have an area where they are locked in where they can only stand and eat and drink water. The floor area, which looks more like a cage, is on grates so all of their poop and pee goes underneath. The boy said that when these newest piglets were born, one of the babies had two legs stuck in the grates and later died.
Okay. So let's talk about the smell. They have to heat the pig barn. The males need it at about 60 degrees, however the females need it warmer and it is kept at about 70. So it is like heating up all of their poop and pee and the smell is pretty atrocious!
We finally got outside and walk around a bit. Even the outside stinks but not as bad as being in the barn.
So, we are driving home and I could not get rid of the stink even though all the windows were down. You know sometimes how when you have to clean up something that stinks, like puke or the cat litter, that smell just sits in your nose and you cannot get it out. I thought perhaps that was what was happening. That is until I smelled my sweatshirt in my hair and realized that it was us who stunk!
By the time we got home, I was just about dry heaving and was yelling at me to stop talking about how much we stunk. When we went into the house, everybody stripped down and got in the shower while I washed all our clothes.
No pigs at Tate Farms that is for sure!!
Friday, March 28, 2014
We're home!
It's great to be back to the blue skies and the Utah sun. Yes....I still think I want to retire in St. Simmons Island and be a waitress or cleaning lady or something, however, is always good to get home.
We are in the thick of calving season. Scott actually slept in his truck at the ranch last night baby sitting. There was one little guy born to a heifer and she just did not get what to do. Scott said he was getting so pissed at her because, after he got her head in the head catch, he would have to milk her and then give that bottle to the calf. But the heifer kept swinging it's tail, soaked in after birth, and flicking him in the face!
I hate to admit it.... but I am kinda glad it wasn't me getting flicked!
Anyway, Scott is a little zombie-ish today!
Monday, March 24, 2014
The destination
Hunter and I went on a bike ride. We ended up here. I had the best intentions to the only go in for a cup of coffee, but after 45 dollars worth of fudge and chocolate, can't say I really stuck to that plan!
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Snow crab
Thanks aunt Jen! Katie is like.... mom, I want that same fish we had at aunt Jen's house at Christmas.
And she's cracking them herself!
This digging is tough work
I talked to Scott last night and he has been without water for 2 days while he is fixing the pipe underneath the driveway. He said it had been buried about 4 feet, but made it about 7 feet deep. We were teasing him about how tired we were with all the beach sand digging we were doing. And his text back to me was that he did not even want to hear it until we were at least 7 feet deep!
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Not what it's cracked up to be
We thought this double bike would be fun! It's actually really hard! So we thought we would return it and get two singles.
This was the best time with my dad!
He steered us into a bush before we even got out of the driveway!
After we returned the bike, we rode right across the street for a couple of beers on an empty stomach. We laughed so hard we cried. I honked-that's what I do when I laugh so hard.
There was a fat guy who rode his bike past the bar we were sitting at. My dad said to me that if he ever got that fat I should shoot him. I told him that would be something he would have to talk to Scott about.
A while back there was this cow that we called Crooked Jaw. We had to put her down because she essentially was worthless. So my dad looks at me, shifts his jaw over to the side and says in this weird sort of voice that he will just need to check the ponds one more time before we shoot him!
Maybe you had to be there, but it was damn funny!
The most awesome gift
Ezell have these to Hunter. They even light up!
Hunter has spent the majority of the week holding hands with DeAcquin. They even wrote their names in the hard sand at the beach with a big heart next to it. Last night they were doing a little beatboxing. I got it on video and it was pretty cute! There is this giant smile that comes over Big D's face and Hunter too! Those two are BFFs!
Katie and Shervelle were pretty much inseparable for the whole trip. She braided Katie's hair last night and it is really cute. It was sweet how Shervelle really took her time on it and wanted it to be perfect for Katie. Shervelle even gave Katie a really cool and hip dress that no longer fit her. Katie is pretty much living in it!
It's pretty cloudy today which I am grateful for. it's nice to swim in the pool without the Sun. My plan for today is to head out on my bike and find a yoga studio.
Sunset time
It was the big kids last night here Friday night. So we planned to have salmon on the grill, hang out together and watch the sunset at the end of the long dock.
It was a beautiful sunset! And we all had a great time. I think mostly it is the quiet that comes over you when you watch the sunset. There is just a very peaceful feeling and a moment of reflection and all of the things within the day that you have to be grateful for just wash over you. And it is that moment as the sun dips below the horizon that you just feel this moment of light in yourself. And for that moment it's like you are part of the sunset and everything that is beautiful.
It might be the vodka.
So I can't really remember what I have posted and what I have not posted. So here I am on the beach bike riding with Ben. Maybe you already saw this picture! I don't know.
Everybody was having a little down time but I just needed to get out and do something! So I planned on going for a bike ride. And Ben surprised me by getting himself all ready and coming with! We got down to the main dock and rode our bikes all the way out to the end to look for dolphins. Tide was out so the sand was perfect. We carried our bikes down the stairs and just rode for miles on the beach! And then out of nowhere, up came a dolphin fin out of the ocean. And Ben's eyes lit up and his mouth fell open and he said to me how amazing that was. As we biked back to the house, he asked me what my favorite part of the vacation has been and I told him it was that moment and he said it was his favorite too.
It is so amazing here! You can bike around the entire island. There's this great little downtown and the ocean is right there -it's just amazing. I have already decided that I am going to retire here. This morning I got up and started cleaning because Casey and her family arrive tonight so I have to switch rooms and just wanted to straighten up. And it came to me that when I am in my 60's, I'm going to move here and retire! I would be totally fine with being a cleaning lady. I just love it here! Well, maybe not in the summer. But right now, it's beautiful. And the weather is perfect.
Friday, March 21, 2014
It never gets old
It's funny how walking along the beach and collecting seashells never gets old... I do it every time and every time I do it, I return to my towel, laid out on the sand, with a heaping pile of shells!
As I was walking I could not help but think how I sort of life my life the same way. I keep keeping on, looking for a glimmer of something beautiful to pick up and carry with me.
Happy
He said to me in the way..."mom, I am so happy it's just me and you. Just us going on this bike ride. I love you."
Bike riding to the ocean
After spending the morning at the turtle center, the whole afternoon in the pool, Ben was the only one I could motivate for a bike ride.
We're the opposite
I would have to say, we would say the exact opposite. Maybe I should have the kids dress up as a chicken and say "eat more beef or we're sunk!"
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