My sweet girl, Katie

Well, it is hard to believe, but the time has come to get ready to fly out tonight because camp is just around the corner.

Ah - my sweet girl Katie....I am going to MISS HER!!  Of course, I am not letting on how much so that she can work through her own thoughts and feelings about heading off to camp for three weeks, but I think I will find myself sitting in her room quite often while she is away and just thinking of her.

I think there is probably something special about the first born for every mother, however, there is something above and beyond that is special about Katie.  She has the biggest and most compassionate heart of any kid I know.  She is so well balanced inside herself that she truly can step forth into this experience and know 'she's got this!'

We were snuggling last night in bed and talking about how we were both feeling about her heading off to camp.  I told her that I would never have her do something that I knew she could not handle.  And so it then just becomes a matter of her believing in herself that she could do it.

I think what I get the most emotional about is that she is just growing up....and the little girl I am dropping off at camp might be the same little girl I pick up in mid July.  I know - they grow - and sometimes it is truly annoying when I have just bought a brand new swim suit, size 12, last season and it no longer fits!  But with that growing, I see her blossoming into this young woman, and I cannot help but think back to all the days we spent toddling around the block leaving birdseed at the base of every tree for the birds and squirrels and her silly little dance party before bed when bedtime was still at 7pm, and her little girl squinty-eyed smile beaming up at me.  Now we fit in the same clothes and she is looking more across at me than up!

It is not about me feeling like I am getting old (which is true - I mean, when did my knees start to sag?) but rather about watching, so closely, someone else grow, someone so very close to your heart and knowing that someday there is an enormous "letting go" that happens, however still feeling this enormous wave of pride and love and connection.

I just have this vision of standing on the deck with this beautiful bird that I have deeply cared for for so long and having this moment of knowing that I need to send this little bird out into the world to fly free and realizing at that moment that it is not about me but the flight of this little bird that's most important, but that first move towards opening my hands and allowing that little bird to go is a hard move to make, yet essential, I know.

Speaking of flying free....remember the owl we attempted to rescue.  I am not sure if I ever updated that story, but that little owl did die- he never made it through surgery because its broken wing was just too broken.  Anyway, while we were there, I had mentioned to the woman who runs this nonprofit bird sanctuary that we would love to offer our land as a place to release any of the healed birds.  So, all this time passes and we hear nothing and I figured it was one of those things that I offered and she was polite, however, nothing would ever come of it.

WELLLLLLLLLLL - she just called a couple weeks ago asking if she could release on our property.  So when we all arrive back in August, she is coming out and will release some Great Horned Owls....ironically, there are three of them.  And it will be like that vision I have of standing on the deck but in real life!  

Send Katie lots of positive energy and love over these next few days.  This will be a big week for her.  And write her lots of letters.